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Mid. Life Blind Date! In the first of a riveting new column. Mid. Life Blind Date is a new column for those of us who are venturing back to dating and need advice, reassurance and the solidarity of knowing we are not alone. Every week we’ll send a couple out for dinner and report back on their date, with a little advice thrown in to help the rest of us. Sarah Entwistle and Nick Morgan went on a blind date to Plum + Spilt Milk restaurant on Pancras Road in North London.
Sarah is 5. 0, with three children, and hadn’t been on a date in nearly 1. Nick, 4. 8, is an author with two children and hoped for an entertaining evening. How did it feel to get back into the game after so long?
Sarah, 5. 0, says: Unfortunately my first impressions of Nick weren’t great. He arrived carrying a backpack and was wearing an awful short- sleeved Hawaiian shirt. I mistook him for the photographer! Sarah, 5. 0, says: 'Unfortunately my first impressions of Nick weren’t great. He arrived carrying a backpack and was wearing an awful short- sleeved Hawaiian shirt'It was a smart restaurant, so I’d hoped my date would wear a proper shirt and jacket at least, if not a tie.
We shook hands to say hello and I told him he looked like a slim Robin Williams, with his stubbly beard and little glasses, which he took well. DATE DOCTOR'S VERDICT.. Our Dating Doctor Alana Kirk, a single mum of three and a mid- life dater herself, gives her advice.. We have all heard the long rant about the mad ex- partner — that’s a big no for me. Dates in which nobody talks about their past relationships are far more refreshing.
When you talk about your passions and travels, and about politics and influences, it’s much more freeing for both of you. Should we moan about our marriages on a date with someone new? Experts believe there should be a balance. Dumping too much baggage on the dinner table of a first date is likely to put your date off their food, especially if you get emotional or reveal anger or defensiveness. But be too secretive and you are likely to make them wonder what you’re hiding. Honesty really is the best policy.
But remember that a date is about getting to know a new person, and potentially a new partner, so past betrayals and ex- partners should definitely take a back seat. The past makes you who you are, and your dating history is a big part of that — but the future is who you are going to be. So by all means let your date know about your significant relationships, and ask about theirs. But then get on with learning about each other as you are, with the baggage and the exes left checked in with the coats.
He was polite, friendly and smiley but he left everything up to me. I prefer someone who takes control, so sparks were definitely not flying.
We had an aubergine dip to start, then a deliciously tender beef Wellington, and I ordered a bottle of Laurent Perrier champagne. It’s my favourite. Nick talked a little about his ex- wife but I didn’t mind. I’m a good listener — though speaking to him felt like having a conversation with one of my children’s teachers. He is clearly an educated man but he barely said anything — I made all the running, filling in gaps to keep the conversation going. To be honest, I was glad to get in the cab at the end of the night.
It was a lovely relief to get home, as I didn’t fancy him at all. He has his own hair and was on time, and he was polite and thoughtful but he had no get- up- and- go. I like men with charisma who want to throw on the glad rags and take me out to dinner. He was the opposite — a head- in- a- book kind of guy. Until recently, I hadn’t dated in 1. With three children aged 1. I want to find someone who can be part of my family, and who can talk about sport with my son.
I watch all his football and rugby matches even though I don’t really understand what’s going on. Dating now is very different to first time round, as you do have to put the children first. Then there is the cost of babysitters — between . I have sat opposite someone thinking . The glass is always half full and hopefully it’s champagne! But I am learning to trust my instinct, which I didn’t do in previous relationships.
I’m just hoping to meet someone I would want to go on a second date with, and to finish the evening with a really good kiss. LIKES: He was polite and thoughtful but there was no chemistry. REGRETS: The beef Wellington was so big we could only eat half of it, so I said my dogs would love it.
He looked at me as if I was mad and said he wanted it. When I let him have it, he was embarrassed. COFFEE OR CAB?: Cab! But it hasn’t put me off blind dates, because I do want to find a man who gives me butterflies again. Nick, 4. 8, says: When you are in your 2. You don’t know what’s around the next corner and you don’t care; you just want this amazing ride to go on. Today love is like a ghost train; you know what it’s going to be like before you start.
There’s going to be screams, bumps and uncomfortable sharp turns. And at the end you will see a horrific, haggard face coming at you — which turns out to be a mirror. Nick, 4. 8, says: 'When you are in your 2. You don’t know what’s around the next corner and you don’t care; you just want this amazing ride to go on'I have two boys, 1.
We divorced five years ago and I’ve only been on one other proper date, when we didn’t get on at all. I’ve been speed- dating several times, though — at least if it all goes wrong, you’re with them for three minutes, not three hours!
Right now I’m looking for an entertaining evening and the chance to meet someone from a totally different background. Blind dates are a lottery so I didn’t expect to meet the love of my life.. Sarah is very attractive and well- groomed, with a lovely smile, and wore a pink dress with a very sparkly necklace.
I didn’t get the chance to order anything because Sarah took control. She was in her element but made good choices, suggesting I should have beef Wellington over steak. Before dinner we had a quick drink at the bar and I floated the idea of going to a casino and for cocktails first, but she wanted to get settled in at the restaurant. We both talked about our past relationships but that’s fine because everyone has baggage.
She talked non- stop! I learnt all about her childhood in the East End, her children, a trip to Italy. I tried to give her some advice, as she’s going through a tough time. But there was an awkward moment when I asked to see a picture of her children and she hesitated and said she wouldn’t like to show me. I did appreciate her openness and willingness to share her thoughts about feelings and life. But the low point of the night was the bill. I would never spend such a huge amount on dinner, or .
I’m concerned about global warming and think people should cycle and walk instead of drive, and she wants a petrol- guzzling Chelsea tractor. LIKES: She was honest, open and there was nothing to dislike, but we were too different. I skateboard along Hove seafront while she’d like to buy a new Range Rover. REGRETS: The bill! Just think what you could do with . We could have gone to a casino. COFFEE OR CAB?: Cab.
No chemistry. I think you should be happy in your own company before you share your life with someone else.
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